Ephesians 4:29 - Our Words Should Edify; How Its Done.
Ephesians 4:29 (NIV) Do not let any
unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what
is helpful for building others up according to
their needs, that it may benefit those who
listen.
Ephesians 4:29 (NLT) Dont use foul or
abusive language. Let everything you say be good and
helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement
to those who hear them.
Ephesians 4:29 (EAV) Let no foul or
polluting language, nor evil word nor unwholesome or
worthless talk [ever] come out of your mouth, but only
such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the
spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the
need and the occasion, that it may be a blessing
and give grace (Gods favor) to those who hear
it.
WORD STUDY
Corrupt or Unwholesome Talk.
Foul speech is the sign of a corrupt
heart, for out of the abundance of the heart the
mouth speaketh (Matt. 12:34). Profanity and
obscene jests and songs, even the frivolous and
insipid conversation, have no place in the
Christians life; indeed, they are the hallmark of the
unregenerate spirit. [SDA Bible Commentary]
Edify or Building Others Up.
While speaking does not always have to be
of a somber or even serious character, it
should always edify or build up, making men better
than they were before they heard the words. As in
v. 28 the Christians work was to be for the
benefit of others, so here his words also are to be
for the good of his fellow men. [SDA Bible
Commentary]
INTRODUCTION
Our Words Matter Much
Abraham Lincolns coffin was pried open
on more than one occasion.
Once in 1887, twenty-two years after his
assassination. Why? It was not to determine if he had died
of a bullet fired from John Wilkes Booths
derringer. Then why? Because a rumor was sweeping the
country that his coffin was empty. A select group of
witnesses observed that the rumor was totally false,
then watched as the casket was resealed with
lead.
Fourteen years later, the martyred
mans withered body was viewed again - this time
by even more witnesses - for the same grim
purpose! Finally, the corpse was permanently embedded
in a crypt at Springfield.
Rumors can be cruel. Lacking
authoritative facts and direct sources, information is
loosely disseminated, creating unrest, fear, and
harm. Thats why God makes clear the importance
of using our words to speak grace, not spread
rumors.
Let everything you say be good and
helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement
to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29
The tongue can pry open more caskets,
expose more closet skeletons, and stir up more
toxic, scandalous dust than any other tool on
earth.
So I submit four suggestions for
silencing rumor-mongers:
1. Identify sources by name. If someone
is determined to share damaging or hurtful
information, request that the source be named.
2. Support evidence with facts. Refuse to
listen unless honest-to-goodness truth is
communicated. You can tell. Truth is rarely veiled.
3. Ask the person, May I quote you?
Its remarkable how quickly rumor-spreaders can
turn red - and begin backpedaling.
4. Openly say, I dont appreciate
hearing that. This approach is for the strong
but its a sure way to halt garbage delivery
to your ears.
Heres the best strategy: become a
model of grace and encouragement with your words.
Have you slipped into the ranks of the rumor
mill? If so, I urge you to stop and to reflect on
your words.
What you say matters to those around you,
and especially to the Lord your God, who knows
all, sees all, and hears all. [Chuck Swindoll
www.insight.org.]
COMMENTARY PEARLS
We are counseled to let no corrupt
communication proceed out of our mouth; but a corrupt
communication is not simply something that is vile and
vulgar. It is any communication that will eclipse
from the mind the view of Christ, that will blot
from the soul true sympathy and love. It is a
communication in which the love of Christ is not
expressed, but rather sentiments of an un-Christlike
character (Letter 43, 1895). 6BC1117
The right culture and use of the power of
speech has to do with every line of Christian work;
it enters into the home life, and into all our
intercourse with one another. We should accustom
ourselves to speak in pleasant tones, to use pure and
correct language, and words that are kind and
courteous. Sweet, kind words are as dew and gentle
showers to the soul. The Scripture says of Christ
that grace was poured into His lips that He might
"know how to speak a word in season to him that is
weary." Ps. 45:2; Isa. 50:4. And the Lord bids us,
"Let your speech be alway with grace" (Col. 4:6)
"that it may minister grace unto the hearers"
(Eph. 4:29).
In seeking to correct or reform others we
should be careful of our words. They will be a
savor of life unto life or of death unto death. In
giving reproof or counsel, many indulge in sharp,
severe speech, words not adapted to heal the
wounded soul. By these ill-advised expressions the
spirit is chafed, and often the erring ones are
stirred to rebellion. All who would advocate the
principles of truth need to receive the heavenly oil of
love. Under all circumstances reproof should be
spoken in love. Then our words will reform but not
exasperate. Christ by His Holy Spirit will supply the
force and the power. This is His work.
Not one word is to be spoken unadvisedly.
No evil speaking, no frivolous talk, no fretful
repining or impure suggestion, will escape the lips
of him who is following Christ. The apostle
Paul, writing by the Holy Spirit, says, "Let no
corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth."
Eph. 4:29. A corrupt communication does not mean
only words that are vile. It means any expression
contrary to holy principles and pure and undefiled
religion. It includes impure hints and covert
insinuations of evil. Unless instantly resisted, these
lead to great sin.
Upon every family, upon every individual
Christian, is laid the duty of barring the way against
corrupt speech. When in the company of those who
indulge in foolish talk, it is our duty to change
the subject of conversation if possible. By the
help of the grace of God we should quietly drop
words or introduce a subject that will turn the
conversation into a profitable channel.
It is the work of parents to train their
children to proper habits of speech. The very best
school for this culture is the home life. From the
earliest years the children should be taught to speak
respectfully and lovingly to their parents and to one
another. They should be taught that only words of
gentleness, truth, and purity must pass their lips. Let
the parents themselves be daily learners in the
school of Christ. Then by precept and example they
can teach their children the use of "sound
speech, that cannot be condemned." Titus 2:8. This
is one of the greatest and most responsible of
their duties.
As followers of Christ we should make our
words such as to be a help and an encouragement to
one another in the Christian life. Far more than
we do, we need to speak of the precious
chapters in our experience. We should speak of the
mercy and loving-kindness of God, of the matchless
depths of the Saviour's love. Our words should be
words of praise and thanksgiving. If the mind and
heart are full of the love of God, this will be
revealed in the conversation. It will not be a
difficult matter to impart that which enters into our
spiritual life. Great thoughts, noble aspirations,
clear perceptions of truth, unselfish purposes,
yearnings for piety and holiness, will bear fruit in
words that reveal the character of the heart
treasure. When Christ is thus revealed in our speech,
it will have power in winning souls to Him.
We should speak of Christ to those who
know Him not. We should do as Christ did.
Wherever He was, in the synagogue, by the wayside, in
the boat thrust out a little from the land, at
the Pharisee's feast or the table of the
publican, He spoke to men of the things pertaining to
the higher life. The things of nature, the
events of daily life, were bound up by Him with the
words of truth. The hearts of His hearers were
drawn to Him; for He had healed their sick, had
comforted their sorrowing ones, and had taken their
children in His arms and blessed them. When He opened
His lips to speak, their attention was riveted
upon Him, and every word was to some soul a savor
of life unto life.
So it should be with us. Wherever we are,
we should watch for opportunities of speaking
to others of the Saviour. If we follow Christ's
example in doing good, hearts will open to us as
they did to Him. Not abruptly, but with tact born
of divine love, we can tell them of Him who is
the "Chiefest among ten thousand" and the One
"altogether lovely." Cant. 5:10, 16. This is the very
highest work in which we can employ the talent of
speech. It was given to us that we might present
Christ as the sin-pardoning Saviour. COL336-9
Jesus proceeded to lay down a principle
that would make oath taking needless. He teaches
that the exact truth should be the law of speech.
"Let your speech be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: and
whatsoever is more than these is of the evil one."
R.V.
These words condemn all those meaningless
phrases and expletives that border on profanity.
They condemn the deceptive compliments, the
evasion of truth, the flattering phrases, the
exaggerations, the misrepresentations in trade, that are
current in society and in the business world. They
teach that no one who tries to appear what he is
not, or whose words do not convey the real
sentiment of his heart, can be called truthful.
If these words of Christ were heeded,
they would check the utterance of evil surmising
and unkind criticism; for in commenting upon the
actions and motives of another, who can be certain
of speaking the exact truth? How often pride,
passion, personal resentment, color the impression
given! A glance, a word, even an intonation of the
voice, may be vital with falsehood. Even facts may
be so stated as to convey a false impression.
And "whatsoever is more than" truth, "is of the
evil one."
Everything that Christians do should be
as transparent as the sunlight. Truth is of
God; deception, in every one of its myriad forms,
is of Satan; and whoever in any way departs
from the straight line of truth is betraying
himself into the power of the wicked one. Yet it is
not a light or an easy thing to speak the exact
truth. We cannot speak the truth unless we know the
truth; and how often preconceived opinions, mental
bias, imperfect knowledge, errors of judgment,
prevent a right understanding of matters with which
we have to do! We cannot speak the truth unless
our minds are continually guided by Him who is
truth.
Through the apostle Paul, Christ bids us,
"Let your speech be alway with grace." "Let no
corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but
that which is good to the use of edifying, that
it may minister grace unto the hearers."
Colossians 4:6; Ephesians 4:29. In the light of these
scriptures the words of Christ upon the mount are seen
to condemn jesting, trifling, and unchaste
conversation. They require that our words should be not
only truthful, but pure.
Those who have learned of Christ will
"have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of
darkness." Ephesians 5:11. In speech, as in life, they
will be simple, straightforward, and true; for
they are preparing for the fellowship of those
holy ones in whose mouth "was found no guile."
Revelation 14:5. MB67-9
Men are influenced by their own words. Often
under a momentary impulse, prompted by Satan, they
give utterance to jealousy or evil surmising,
expressing that which they do not really believe; but
the expression reacts on the thoughts. They are
deceived by their words, and come to believe that
true which was spoken at Satan's instigation.
Having once expressed an opinion or decision, they
are often too proud to retract it, and try to
prove themselves in the right, until they come to
believe that they are. It is dangerous to utter a
word of doubt, dangerous to question and
criticize divine light. The habit of careless and
irreverent criticism reacts upon the character, in
fostering irreverence and unbelief. DA323
COMMENTARY
The Essence of Conversation
Its important to remember in any
conversation the same truth that applies to every other
area of your life: Its not about you.
What do you think is going to happen if
you start a conversation with your agenda, your
hurt, your complaint, or your problem? Youre
not going to get very far!
Every conversation should start by
empathizing with the needs of the other person. What are
their hurts? What are their interests? What are
their fears? What are their problems?
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out
of your mouths, but only what is helpful for
building others up according to their needs, that it
may benefit those who listen" (Ephesians 4:29
NIV).
There are four commands in this verse:
Speak only what is helpful, build others up, defer
to others needs, and benefit others. None of
those commands are about you.
Youll get your turn at some point.
Youll have your chance to speak your frustration
or fear or need or opinion - but dont start
there.
Here's how to start: When you sit down to
the conversation, say, "You go first." Then let
them speak without any interruption. Don't ask
questions. Don't ask for clarification. Don't
challenge. Take notes if necessary. But just let them
speak. That shows you're aware. That shows you're
paying attention. That shows you care.
Theres another way to show you care:
Summarize what the other person said. You say, Let
me repeat back to you what I think I heard you
say." You paraphrase what you heard them saying so
that they can affirm or correct you and maintain
healthy communication. This shows them that you
cared enough to listen and also to make sure they
were understood. Its a powerful way to show
love in any relationship.
Its human nature to want to focus on
yourself. But the sign of a master communicator is
having enough humility to make the other person the
focus of the conversation and make them feel heard
and understood. [Daily Devotional by Rick
Warren: https://pastorrick.com/devotional/]
We Become What We Say
Why is the tongue so important? Because
the expression of a thing deepens the
impression. A word uttered becomes a word made flesh -
in us. We become the incarnation of what we
express. Jesus said, "For by your words you will be
acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned" (Mt
12:37). After I saw that a person becomes what he
says, I have looked at this verse in a different
light. If you tell a lie, you become a lie. The
deepest punishment of a lie is to be the one who
tells the lie. That person has to live with
someone he cannot trust.
Now look at what I am saying from the
opposite perspective. When we express good things,
positive things, loving things, scriptural things,
these things go deeper into us. Clear expression
deepens impression. A brilliant young physicist
tells how he often discusses complex issues
relating to physics with his wife who doesn't know
the first thing about the subject. He told a
friend, "I describe in detail what I am doing and
she doesn't understand a word. But sometimes
when I'm through - I do."
If it is true - and I believe it is -
that we become the incarnation of what we
express, then how careful we ought to be to ensure
that what we say is guarded and governed by
truth, integrity, and kindness. Always remember:
every word you utter becomes flesh"in you.
O Father, how awesome is this thought - I
become the incarnation of what I express. Cleanse
me deep within so that I may be pure in soul as
well as speech. I would be a clarified person.
Grant it please, dear Father. In Jesus' name.
Amen. [Every Day With Jesus Bible with Selwyn
Hughes devotional re Pro. 15:2]
Dangers of Speaking before Listening
One of my favorite TV shows is The
Honeymooners. The iconic lead character, Ralph Kramden,
would say, "I've got a big mouth!" whenever he
talked too much and got into trouble. It was a
hilarious form of self-correcting on the show. But I
can relate in real life those times I've said
things I didn't think through.
Many of us have been in Ralph's shoes.
David prayed for wisdom to keep his mouth shut,
even "put a muzzle on my mouth" (Psalm 39:1 NIV)
- smart man! It's only human to say things out
of anger, frustration, sadness, or even fear.
We've all done it. The Word of God says that no
man can tame the tongue and calls it "an unruly
evil" (James 3:8). But we are still responsible
for what we say and need to be careful.
We misspeak or may retaliate when someone
has hurt us. I have made that mistake (more than
once), and I've always regretted it immediately
afterward. The Lord wasn't pleased with me and I felt
foolish. I know better now, so I make that mistake
less and less. I understand now that when I'm
tempted to respond to negativity with a snide
remark, Jesus wants me to take the high road.
There's nothing to prove by saying harsh words to
someone. I know correcting those whose words hurt is
sometimes necessary, but when we speak the truth, we
should speak it in love (Ephesians 4:15). Jesus
knew the power of words and used His wisely
(Matthew 12:37), and we should too. by Carol Mackey
Faith Step: Here's an exercise: When
you're getting ready to say something out of fear,
anger, or frustration, imagine Jesus is standing
right next to you. Count to five and then respond.
See what a difference it makes. [Mornings With
Jesus 2019 Devotional by Guideposts and
Zondervan]
Gossip: Dish the Dirt
According to the dictionary, gossip is "a
report, often malicious, about another person's
behavior." It's a big relationship killer and should be
avoided at all costs. I was reminded of this when
someone said to me, "Did you hear about--?"
My immediate response was "Do I need to
hear this?"
The person speaking was a little taken
aback by my response, but it did take the
conversation in a different direction. The point is that
gossip is harmful, and just about the only way to
catch yourself before you get caught up in it is
to prepare a response ahead of time.
Does that mean we go around with our
heads in the sand, unwilling to acknowledge that
someone has a problem? Of course not. But the Bible
is clear about what to do when we become aware
of another person's unwise behavior. In Matthew
5, we are told to go to that person and address
it directly. What should we do if another
person has a problem with us? The same thing. We go
and work it out. Our first thought should always
be to restore the relationship by speaking
words of truth and encouragement.
Lord God, I know there is something
compelling about hearing of someone else's failures.
Maybe it makes us feel better about ourselves in
comparison. But I see the damage gossip can cause. Help
me do what is pleasing in your sight. In Jesus'
name, Amen. [Celebrate Recovery Daily Devotional
by John & Johnny Baker]
CLOSING THOUGHT
Joyful Noise
I doubt many people would argue about the
power of the spoken word.
We don't need a master's in psychology to
know that our hearts leap at the sound of
affirming words. It's just how God wired us. Any
co-worker with a new hairdo will agree. Any toddler
who is potty training or husband who just closed
the big deal will nod emphatically as
well. We possess a tremendous ability to very
simply "make someone's day" with heartfelt praise
or to even alter the course of a life with the
power of our words.
Oprah, Bill Gates, and Tiger Woods have
all, at one point, attributed their early success
to the empowering encouragement of someone
else. Perhaps it was just a small phrase or
statement, but one that was instrumental in building up
or perhaps even just holding up hope and belief
for a brief second. That can be all the time it
takes to get someone to look at the mirror
differently.
Conversely, it doesn't take that same
graduate degree to know that the power of words can
be unleashed as perhaps the most primitive of
weapons. Most of us would agree that whoever penned
that little ditty about "sticks and stones may
break my bones, but words will never hurt me" was
obviously never a fifth grader. Words can not only
hurt, but they can leave shrapnel in the soul long
after the explosion hits and the smoke clears.
Next time you need a reminder about the power of
the negative word, dust off the book of James.
It's been said that the tongue is the strongest
muscle in the body. I think the spirit would
agree.
So... having taken a moment to consider
the power and impact of both our life-giving,
affirming words as well as the life-robbing,
destructive power of the tongue... here's one more
thought to chew on, (pardon the pun). What about the
power of words never spoken? For me, I can look
back on my life and count too many times when I'd
wished I'd listened to my gut (and the Holy Spirit)
and just had the courage to open my mouth and
let my heart spill out, regardless of the
awkward moment. You've heard the rather overused
challenge to live each day as it if were your last...
but there is real wisdom there. Why wait to say
"I love you?" Why wait one more day to forgive?
Or to ask for forgiveness? There is a reason
that Paul, in Ephesians 4, encourages us not to
let the sun go down on our anger. Perhaps
because he knew, as a hunted and persecuted man,
that a sunrise the next morning was not something
to be assumed. He understood, better than
anyone, the importance of keeping his accounts
short.
Say it now. Go there. The tongue might be
powerful, but so are clenched teeth and a firmly set
jaw. And silence can speak volumes we never meant
to say. Matthew 12:34 reminds us that what is
in our hearts, will come spilling out of our
mouths. If your heart is full today, or even broken,
consider springing a leak and letting someone know.
The relief and healing that may follow will make
you a believer in the power of words, all over
again. By Nichole Nordeman Dove Award-Winning
Singer/Songwriter
PRACTICAL APPLICATION
Watch your words diligently. Words have
such great power to bless or to wound. When you
speak carelessly or negatively, you damage others
as well as yourself. This ability to verbalize
is an awesome privilege, granted only to those
I created in My image. You need help in
wielding this mighty, power responsibly.
Though the world applauds quick-witted
retorts, My instructions about communication are
quite different: Be quick to listen, slow to
speak, and slow to become angry. Ask My Spirit to
help you whenever you speak. I have trained you
to pray - "Help me? Holy Spirit" - before
answering the phone, and you have seen the benefits of
this discipline. Simply apply the same discipline
to communicating with people around you. If
they are silent, pray before speaking to them. If
they are talking, pray before responding. These
are split-second prayers, but they put you in
touch with My Presence. In this way, your speaking
comes under the control of My Spirit. As positive
speech patterns replace your negative ones, the
increase in your Joy will amaze you. (Pro. 12:18;
Jam. 1:19; Eph, 4:29) [Jesus Calling by Sarah
Young]
LINKS FOR FURTHER STUDY ON THIS TOPIC
Ephesians 4:29 - Our Words Should Edify.
http://www.abible.com/devotions/2010/20100926-1625.html
Colossians 4:6 - Speaking with Grace
Seasoned with Salt.
http://www.abible.com/devotions/2018/20180428-1514.html
James 1:19 - Be Quick to Listen and Slow to
Speak.
http://www.abible.com/devotions/2019/20191103-1032.html
YOUR COMMENTS
If anyone has a paraphrase, commentary or
testimony on this passage of Scripture, either
personal or otherwise, I would be interested in
hearing from you. Thanks in advance and let's keep
uplifting Jesus that all might be drawn to Him. Fred
Gibbs
LINKS WORTH CHECKING OUT
Most Important Decision in Life:
http://www.youtube.com/embed/WGnEuGwvXqU?rel=0
Steps to Peace by Billy Graham:
https://stepstopeace.org/
A Man without Equal by Bill Bright:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NiVa7UoruIo
Seeking God Made Real:
http://vimeo.com/31489782
Prayer Made Real:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tc8VdMV26VE
Importance of Choice:
http://creationhealth.com/CREATION-Health/Choice [click on video]
Medical Seminar on Healthful Living by David
DeRose, MD, MPH:
https://www.smartlifestyletv.com/lifestart
LINKS FOR BIBLE STUDIES
Lifting Up Jesus Bible Studies:
http://www.liftingupjesus.net/
Amazing Facts Bible Studies:
http://www.amazingfacts.org/bible-study/bible-study-guides.aspx
Hope Awakens Bible Study Guides:
https://www.hopeawakens.study/lesson-header;id=2
Glow Tract Video Bible Studies:
http://www.bibleresearch.info/
LINKS FOR BIBLE PROPHECY SEMINARS
Islam and Christianity in Prophecy, The
Third and Final Conflict by Tim Roosenberg:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gHSJB-fuHLU&list=PLWhQIHGTHlkaGg5Cwe3NDzWtFX8vNSpsE
Unlocking Bible Prophecies by Cami Oetman of
Adventist World Radio: https://www.awr.org/bible
Revelation Now by Pastor Doug Batchelor:
https://www.revelationnow.com/
Hope Awakens by John Bradshaw of IIW:
https://itiswritten.tv/programs/hope-awakens
Prophecies Decoded by Pastor Ron Clouzet:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL1A435C5373550657
