Romans 12:15 - How to Lessen Your Friends Pain.
Romans 12:15 (NIV) Rejoice with those who
rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
Romans 12:15 (NIRV) Be joyful with those who
are joyful. Be sad with those who are sad.
Romans 12:15 (NLT) Be happy with those who
are happy, and weep with those who weep.
Romans 12:15 (MSG) Laugh with your happy
friends when they're happy; share tears when they're
Theres something interesting about
pain and joy. Whenever you share a joy, it gets
doubled. But its the opposite with pain. When you
share a pain, its halved.
So when your friends are going through a
crisis, they need you to help carry the load and,
thus, lessen the pain.
Sharing your friends pain is not the
same as sympathy. Sympathy says, Im sorry
you hurt. People dont need your sympathy.
They need your empathy. Empathy says, I hurt
with you. Sympathy stands at a distance.
Empathy draws close.
The ultimate form of love is compassion.
Compassion says, Ill do anything I can to stop
When you read the Bible, youll find
that Jesus was repeatedly moved with compassion.
He shared in peoples hurt. And, to stop
others hurt, he was willing to do whatever he
could, including going to the cross. Thats right
- he was willing to die to stop your hurt.
The Bible says in Romans 12:15, Laugh
with your happy friends when theyre happy;
share tears when theyre down (The Message).
What do friends do for each other? They
show up. And when they show up and find their
friend is sad, sometimes they sit and cry with that
friend - they weep with those who weep.
Friends dont give pious platitudes.
They dont give advice when someone isnt
ready for it. They dont try to talk a friend
out of his pain. They dont promise everything
will be okay.
They just show up, shut up, and hurt with
their friend. And in doing so, they lessen the
pain and show the compassion of Christ. [Daily
Devotional by Rick Warren:
We are to rejoice with those who rejoice,
and to weep with those who weep. There are few
bonds like that of a common sorrow. A writer tells
of the saying of an American negro woman. A
lady in Charleston met the negro servant of a
neighbour. "I'm sorry to hear of your Aunt Lucy's
death," she said. "You must miss her greatly. You
were such friends." "Yes'm," said the servant,
"I is sorry she died. But we wasn't no
friends." "Why," said the lady, "I thought you were.
I've seen you laughing and talking together lots
of times." "Yes'm. That's so," came the reply.
"We've laughed together, and we've talked together,
but we is just 'quaintances. You see, Miss Ruth,
we ain't never shed no tears. Folks got to cry
together before dey is friends."
The bond of tears is the strongest of
all. And yet it is much easier to weep with those
who weep than it is to rejoice with those who
rejoice. Long ago Chrysostom wrote on this passage:
"It requires more of a high Christian temper to
rejoice with them that do rejoice than to weep with
them that weep. For this nature itself fulfils
perfectly; and thee is none so hard-hearted as not to
weep over him that is in calamity; but the other
requires a very noble soul, so as not only to keep
from envying, but even to feel pleasure with the
person who is in esteem." It is, indeed, more
difficult to congratulate another on his success,
especially if his success involves disappointment to
us, than it is to sympathize with his sorrow and
his loss. It is only when self is dead that we
can take as much joy in the success of others as
in our own. [Barclay Commentary]
We live in a world where loss and failure
happen to everyone. We can lose health, jobs,
friends, finances. We need the skills to deal with
losses rather than papering them over with "happy"
talk. Jesus was "a man of suffering and familiar
with pain" (Isaiah 53:3), and we need to be like
him in dealing authentically with grief.
Community is essential to grieving well.
When our friends suffer a loss, we need to be
there with them. Otherwise, the loss can be too
big to bear. The first thing we can do as
friends is to provide a listening ear and a caring
heart. Our friends need a place to say, "It was
bad. It really hurts."
Henri Nouwen said, "The friend who can be
silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion,
who can stay with us in an hour of grief and
bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing not
healing, not curing that is a friend who cares."
Do you know anyone who has suffered a
loss? Offer a listening ear and your loving
We give our friends a tremendous gift
when we're available to listen and mourn with
them. [The Daniel Plan 365-Day Devotional]
By sharing in the joy of another, we
By sharing the woe of another, we diminish
it. [Source Unknown]
CROSS REFERENCE FOR FURTHER STUDY
1 Corinthians 12:26 (NKJV) And if one member
suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one
member is honored, all the members rejoice with
If anyone has a paraphrase, commentary or
testimony on this passage of Scripture, either
personal or otherwise, I would be interested in
hearing from you. Thanks in advance and let's keep
uplifting Jesus that all might be drawn to Him. Fred
LINKS WORTH CHECKING OUT
Most Important Decision in Life:
A Man without Equal by Bill Bright:
Seeking God Made Real:
Prayer Made Real:
Importance of Choice:
http://creationhealth.com/CREATION-Health/Choice [click on video]
Medical Seminar on Healthful Living by David
DeRose, MD, MPH:
LINKS FOR BIBLE STUDIES
Lifting Up Jesus Bible Studies:
Amazing Facts Bible Studies:
Hope Awakens Bible Study Guides:
Glow Tract Video Bible Studies:
LINKS FOR BIBLE PROPHECY SEMINARS
Islam and Christianity in Prophecy, The
Third and Final Conflict by Tim Roosenberg:
Revelation Now by Pastor Doug Batchelor:
Unlocking Bible Prophecies by Cami Oetman of
Adventist World Radio:
Hope Awakens by John Bradshaw of IIW:
Prophecies Decoded by Pastor Ron Clouzet: